I have left this site quite neglected for the past month or so. Honestly, I have had no motivation to corral the whirlwind that has been the collection of my thoughts. Between the busyness of life, the lessons I’ve been learning, and the variation of my emotions I really think this has been a healthy choice. Writing my thoughts down is usually very helpful for me, and the medium I prefer is blogging. I’ve found, however, that there are seasons where it becomes tedious and counter-productive for me to blog. I’ve found myself in such a season as of late.
I think I am at last finding the end of that season.
Over the course of this month I’ve also thought a great deal as to the purpose of this blog. It’s so easy for me to get caught on the idea of who reads this blog and what they would or wouldn’t like to read about. While I do hope to one day have blogs that are reader driven (likely design oriented but possibly other topics as well), for now that really isn’t my purpose. The reason I started this blog was somewhat selfish. I wanted a place where I could just be me. It’s hard to be honest with who you are sometimes. People don’t always like it and may even treat you differently. This makes anonymity appealing. and while I believe there is a time and place for anonymity I don’t desire that here. I desire reality.
What does that mean? It means, I’m going to quit worrying about whether someone will be offended by what I post or if they’ll find it boring. This blog is my vent. It helps me organize my thoughts while expressing other passions at the same time. So there will be posts about my faith, my work, and whatever else crosses my mind. This is what it used to be, and my feeling unable to be honest here is why the posts have become so infrequent. I began to feel that I could not be open. It’s sad that I felt this way on my own blog, but it’s true. I did.
So this post is the first: new beginnings in new seasons. I really feel like I am in a new season of my life right now. Externally it doesn’t look a whole lot different. All I can say is that I am different. I feel lighter, more free. I’m seeking my Savior anew and loving the new relationships I’m building. Letting go of old relationships has never been my strong suite, but I’m learning to leave that in the hands of my Savior. He is the creator of love and in His hands anything is possible. Only He can truly heal wounds and move mountains. Only He can mend that which seems irreparable.
If I can describe the one thing that has most transformed me it would be this: the Relentless Love of my Savior. But that’s another topic for another post. I look forward to writing it.
For now I must go. Until next time.
